Hey I’m famous….someone “liked” one of my “Ecards”…….that encouraged me to make another one….this could be BIG!!!
Maybe these Ecards will become the main thrust of this important site….who knows…stay tuned!
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I’ve long debated if I should venture into the arena of these “Ecards” we see floating around the Web and on Facebook….so after long thought (approximately 3 minutes) I’ve decided to jump in with both feet….metaphorically of course…..So….here’s my first one. Please….hold your applause until the last Ecard has been posted. Hey here’s another one…..
OK….you are probably wondering who this less than humorous bastard is….right? Well I’ll tell you, it’s George Boole. Believe it or not this guy way back in the mid eighteen hundreds laid the ground work for the very computer on which you are reading this little ditty! Yup, ol’ George was one of the first folks to apply the “binary system” as an approach to mathematics, more specifically, “Boolean Algebra”. The operatives he used to achieve this somewhat dubious distinction, in my estimation, were the yes-no, true-false, on-off, zero-one approach. OK right about now you are asking yourself, “What in the hell does George Boole have to do with starting the New Year off right?” Well George Boole holds the key to how “Google” thinks. And Google is the search engine that can become your magic carpet to anything you want! You see Google uses Boolean search operatives…AND….OR….NOT…and NEAR, although we won’t use that too much. My purpose in telling you all of this is not to bore you to tears, but rather to give you an explanation of what “Boolean Operatives” are….that achieved we can now buzz along! I’m kind of getting sick and tired of watching all of you students and businessmen and hobbyist and gardeners and cooks and all of you that wallow around in the dark when it comes to finding information on Google. It’s high time you guys get into the 21st Century….OK? How many of you have a “Gmail” account….raise you hands….hmmm. OK, how many of you know what a “Google Alert” or the “Google Reader” is? Uh huh, just as I thought. Listen people, you’ve got to get with the program….Google is doing your homework for you….they’re giving away the “Farm” informationally to you on a silver platter! They’re gonna tell you where to find that 2-4-4-2 HO Model Locomotive on the net, what your business competitor is doing, they’ll find every recipe from here to hell and back, they’ll fill you in on the latest from “Myspace”, Facebook, Twitter, and anything else you want to know about….you just have to ask them…..and not even nicely! OK, I know, what the hell is that Jack guy talking about? Google Reader?, Google Alerts?, is this guy nuts? The short answer is “No”! Let me explain. Suppose you are doing a paper or a thesis or trying to find information on a given subject….what do you do….you go to Google or your favorite search engine and type in a bunch of words you think might head you off in the right direction to find whatever it is you’re looking for….right? (BTW those words you type in are called “Keywords”) Then you go through a pant load of pages trying to find something relevant to what you want….are you still with me? Then you find a little information and you copy and paste it into “whatever” and keep going until you have what you consider the whole picture, does this sound familiar? Hey…how about those recipe searches…you’ll look through 18 gazillion different recipes and never find the exact one you want. Let’s make this whole process a lot easier and answer the question once and for all….”Is this Jack guy really nuts?” The first thing I want you to do is get a Google email address….and if you have one, get another just for this exercise. Getting an email address with Google couldn’t be easier. Here’s how to do that; Go to google .com, in the upper left you’ll see “Gmail”…click on it. Voila, you’re there….sign up for an account. You will be asked to verify your application by providing a cell phone number or a land line number….then you’ll get a call with a 5 or 6 digit verification code…follow the directions and you’ll be good to go.) This Gmail address is just for your informational searching usage, so give the account a name like jacksinfo@gmail(dot)com. I wouldn’t use “jacks” if I was you…try using your own name. Good, now that we have a “New” or another Google email address we can move along. Alrighty then….we’re well on the way to informational nirvana. Now, the Gmail account is for your long term edification…..have you ever seen this The next step is really a more short term source of data or it could be a continuing source of information, it’s totally up to you. We’re going to explore the world of “Google Alerts”. Google Alerts is really an awesome tool when it comes to finding current information on any subject matter. This tool can be strategic, as in the case of a business man trying to keep abreast of his competition, or it could be entertaining as in finding out current information on Paris Hilton. If you’re into science it can deliver all the news about the galaxy, the world of chemistry, the latest findings on growing Tomatoes….one of my favorites ☺. OK…so how do we invoke this wonderful source of data? We go to Google.com. In the upper left you’ll see a menu….click on “more”, then we go to the bottom of the next menu and click “even more” and a new page will appear with “Alerts” being the first item you see on the new page….click it! You are now presented with a form to fill out. You’ll notice you don’t need a Gmail account to use this, but I like to send the information to my Gmail account because it keeps everything in one spot. OK, you can enter you search item or topic and click on “Preview Results”. This will give you an idea of what kind of information will be sent to you. Isn’t this neat?……Well, OK, it’s not a front row seat to a Stones concert, but it’s better than setting off on a search engine safari that ends with a bunch of loosely fitting pieces. Maybe I’ll put together a “Cheat Sheet” of sorts that deals with using the Google search engine itself. Like put 4 + 3+ 11 in the Google search window and hit “enter” and see what happens….how about typing “What Time Is It” into the Google window….what about typing in “49024″ (Portage MI zip code) and see what comes up. Stay tuned! If you think you don’t like “Spinach”, you’ve got another think coming! First off you can relax….there’s NO PIE CRUST with my world famous recipe! Just lots of different cheeses and some egg and some onions….couldn’t be simpler. Here’s how I do it………… assemble the following ingredients: 1 Medium to medium large yellow onion 1-10 oz. package of frozen chopped spinach 2-eggs (Large) 2- Tablespoons of butter 8oz. of Large Curd Cottage Cheese 4oz. shredded Swiss Cheese 4oz. shredded Muenster Cheese 1oz. grated Parmesan cheese OK, let’s throw this baby together……First throw the spinach in a colander in the sink and just let it sit there and defrost while you dice up the onion and cook the onion in the 2 tablespoons of butter until onions are translucent and fully cooked. Now, throw the Cottage Cheese (Drain any extra liquid from Cottage Cheese), the Swiss Cheese, the Muenster Cheese, and the Parmesan Cheese in a mixing bowl and break the eggs over them……throw the translucent onions over the top of this along without any liquid rended from the sautéing process. Check out the spinach…..if it’s defrosted your next job is to use the back of your fingers to press and squeeze the living sh……..hell out of the spinach against the colander walls until you’ve got all the liquid out of it…..then throw the spinach into the bowl and stir until well blended…….STIR…..don’t mash…..well, mash if you want to…..I just prefer leaving it somewhat grainy to allow the ingredients to breath and blend flavors. Time to bake…….get a 9″ glass or metal pie dish…….. “lightly” coat the pie dish with butter or shortening……just a little bit of coating mind you…..then dump everything into it…..smooth it around so the pie dish is evenly full. Now get some more Parmesan Cheese and sprinkle some on top if of the pie if you wish…..I do and it adds a nice touch to it…..not to mention a great aroma while baking. Pop your masterpiece into a 350 degree oven on the center rack for 40-45 minutes and VOILA!….Nirvana. Let it sit lightly covered on a rack for about 10-15 minutes before slicing into pieces of pie. OK….all done and ready serve. You might even want to serve this gem with the Prime Rib I mentioned in an earlier post. …….And I still have most of it! Y’know, money can’t buy happiness but it sure can make misery a lot easier to live with! It seems every Christmas we are reminded of the fact we have a lot less money than we thought we had. Then we have Congress trying to take away what little we’ve been able to put aside. I wonder why that is. It seems there is always some venture Congress is on to take something from the damned tax payer….they kind of remind me of my dating ventures in high school…It’s a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so they can’t get away! I think Will Rogers said it best when he said, “If you make any money, the government shoves you in the creek once a year with it in your pockets, and all that don’t get wet you can keep.” Ol’ Will had a lot of things right. If you’re not familiar with Will Rogers you should Google him….it’ll be an afternoon well spent!
Well, Christmas is coming and hopefully all the people out there will get whatever it is they’ve wished for provided Santa can afford to bring it. More importantly, I’m starting to see something I haven’t seen since I was a small child. Folks are starting to help each other more now that government can’t…..or in some cases won’t. I think we’re heading for the right track, but that reminds me of Will again, “Even if you’re on the right track, you’ll get run over if you just sit there!”
HELLO….is anyone home? We are in the greatest recession we have ever seen and I predict this is just the tip of the proverbial “Iceberg”! This is just the BEGINNING!!!! …..and what does Obama do? He and his minions pass the most expensive health care reform bill ever imagined, he plans to raise taxes in the midst of disaster, he continues to push this cap and trade boondoggle that will absolutely bankrupt the entire country, and to top it off, he’s STILL promulgating the bullshit about “Green Energy”. I love it…a “SUPER GRID”???? Do yourself a favor….FIND AN ELECTRICAL ENGINEER AND ASK ABOUT THE SUPER GRID!!!!! More like SUPER BULLSHIT!!! This guy is out of control…..HEY….we’re 13 TRILLION dollars in debt….anybody listening??? 13 TRILLION….do you know every single ounce of gold on planet Earth only adds up to 993 Billion dollars worth….that isn’t even 1 TRILLION….and we owe 13 TRILLION DOLLARS…..more than 13 times all the gold in the entire world……GET IT? We’re in deep shit!!! So….what does the dope do? He sends the Misses off to Spain with an entourage of friends to comfort a “Dear Friend” over the loss of her father….then when she gets back from that….guess what? Yup….another vacation up at Martha’s Vineyard…then a short 1 day trip to see all his cousins in New Orleans and promises them he’ll fix everything…..my God….he’s totally lost contact with anyone on Earth. I was born in November….November 1st….and this year November is going to be the most important month of our lives…..a chance to return some modicum of sanity to the country…..a “Chance”!
Look at Tiger. He is learning all about life as it pertains to….well….life! He was pretty good…..not the best there ever was , but pretty good. I know…all you die hard Tiger fans are going to ask who was better, I’ll tell you, a lot of players! I’ll mention just one because I think he’s the best that ever touched a club….Bobby Jones. Look up what he accomplished in the golf world with OLD EQUIPMENT!!!! I digress…..we were talking about Tiger. Today he was heavily rumored to be thinking about withdrawing from the Bridgestone Invitational….14 behind the leader and will more than likely lose his #1 ranking in the world. What’s really important here is the fact that he’s thinking of withdrawing according to the sports media…..I sure hope not, that would be the silver spike right through his golfing heart. Now that he might lose his status as #1 in the world. There’s would be no mercy in the execution of what’s left of Tiger at this point. This would speak VOLUMES about his character…you don’t just “Withdraw” from a tournament because you’re not going to win…..that is not only unsportsmanlike, it’s pathetic. Imagine the rest of sports if people just quit because they weren’t going to win…..pathetic! Yes, Tiger has changed….and not for the better! Remember David Duvall….just a few short years ago…….he is one of only 5 people EVER IN THE HISTORY of Golf to shoot a 59….he stumbles around Golf courses today trying to find the magic that once had him # 1 in the whole world of Golf. Ask David if he feels anything has changed. Hey….how about our President Obama….ask him what happened to “no more than 8% unemployment if we can pass TARP”. I guess things changed for him too, although I’m not sure how you blame George Bush for that! I guess my point is….enjoy anything you have now that brings you joy….it won’t be around forever!
This guy has an environmental crisis the likes of which have never been seen and he treats it like an assault from the British Empire. It was an ACCIDENT folks!!! Hello….BP didn’t go out there and blow up their own oil rig just so they could put up a 20 BILLION dollar slush fund for every American con artist to pilfer! So, we have to clean up the spill and try and remediate the damage…so what does Obama do? He refuses to allow foreign help with the skimming of the oil until 72 DAYS INTO THE CRISIS….excellent! ….and that was only after the media pressure became so great he couldn’t ignore it any longer! I really find it unbelievable that this guy Obama and his herd of bleeding heart liberals are more concerned about a bunch of “Brown Pelicans” than they are about the families of the 11 men killed on the rig during the explosion…..does anybody know even ONE of the names of the men killed? Hmmm? Say, that reminds me….how’s that new Health Insurance thing working out for you? My premiums just went up 12%! When I looked for the new government insurance the government was supposed to have floating around out there I found ZERO….NOTHING….seems like it’s not really going to kick in for another 4 years….2014! I wonder why the government (you and me) are paying huge dollars right now if there’s no benefits for another 4 years….hmmmm. Hey, how about that housing that Obama pumped BILLIONS of our dollars into handing out $8000. 00 at a clip to new home buyers…..last month 31% of all homes sold were foreclosed homes….isn’t that marvelous…that’s a record that no one has ever seen before in our 238 year history…..then there’s all those jobs being created out there with Obama’s stimulus, and let’s not forget the astounding inroads were making in Afghanistan……McKrystal got out right before the mess turns toxic…..it’s just a plain ol’ cluster f@*k. The sooner we can get this ignorant bastard out of the White House the better we’re all going to be. |
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There’s Fall…And Then There’s Fall!
Don't EVER call me Honky again!!
Fall….my favorite time of year. Women look better in Fall. The air is cleaner in the fall. Fall signals the beginning of wonderful events in our lives….Football, Halloween, Thanksgiving, all of this set to the panoramic background of yellows and reds and oranges and well, you know, beautiful fall colors. The fall harvest time just feels good. Add football to all of this and I’m just ecstatic. Add Notre Dame losing and I’m near orgasmic (are guys orgasmic?). Yes, while I’m a full 45 minutes away from the fabled campus of Notre Dame, if I listen carefully, I can hear the wails and laments of the frenzied Notre Dame faithful as their imagined football empire sinks in to mediocrity, if that! Yes friends, the days of glory at Notre Dame have gone the way of the Gipper….they’re DEAD!
Thus far this year the illustrious ND faithful have been treated to one pathetic win over a hapless Purdue University. Then fate stepped in and reality took over. First a poor Michigan team came to South Bend and crushed the “Fighting Irish”….that’s a joke in and of itself….Fighting Irish? The only thing the Irish ever fought was a bottle and they lost that battle too!! But I digress. Then the Irish had to travel North into the hostile territory of the Michigan State “Spartans”….a puny leprechaun against a Spartan Warrior? The results were predictable. Another loss for the “Fighting Irish”…Guffaw!! September held another treat for the Irish faithful…..The Stanford Cardinal came to South Bend. Oh there was the usual bravado and bullshit about how they could turn the corner for the season and go on to bowl eligibility with a simple win over the Stanford folks….guess what? There’s no bowl on the horizon yet, nay, the very tenure of their new pretender to coaching glory has come into quiet rumblings from the alumni. Yes friends, poor Brian Kelly may be joining the illustrious fate of Jerry Faust, Lou Holtz, Bob Davies, Tyrone Willingham, and Charlie “Pizza the Hut” Weiss. Yes fans, it’s been a parade of hapless efforts on the behalf of the “Golden Dome”…..I LOVE IT!!!!!!